I wonder wassup with me these days... i see something, get upset, cry. that seems to be the sequence.... sigh...i'm unfit for it anymore...
emoing_forever...
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Camp was reALLY fun, got to know lots of people. Sec 1s, Sec 2s, how to manage people, etc. But i'm remaining to requests from the Atuk. Haha.. camp pple will knw what i'm toking bout'. Yeah... we played lots of games, and oh yeah, i want to post a funny 25second vdeo of the camp about this freakin' funny guy who is like a gay. Yeah, lets see if i can upload it...
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Rumors...
I look down to my feet. I could feel the familiar sense of rumors being passed around as i did my homework quietly. i was just reaching into my heavy-laden bag for a book when...
Hey, freak.
I slowly raised my eyes to meet those of which was insulting me. He looked down and sneered. Freak, he said, before snatching my precious pens and stuffing it into his pocket. Want 'em? Try and get em'. He sat infront of me, and i tried my best to hold my tears back.
Eventually the teacher came in and began the stupid lesson that i did not care what it was. My head bowed, as my teacher stood next to me, i stiffened. I despised teachers who cared or never cared about students like me.
Constantly he turned around and snatched more and more of my things. I was left with a bare table by the end of the lesson. I gave a fearful glance in his direction - before i ran to the toilet to relieve the burden of being a teen.
When i returned soon after, my table and chair were overturned. My bag..who knows where. I couldn't stand it, i cried to sleep every night. My poor grades dropped from 15% to 0%. Teachers were worried (yeah, right).
I SMSed my seniorita. She consoled me (some what) and told me to approach the school counsellor. I was petrified. My self-esteem was what of the lowest you'd shockingly soon realise. My confidence level was beyond -20%.
Alas, i finally approached the counsellor with a friend, i was ready to cry. I hated life. I hated how my life was always run. I was shy. I didn't like all the attention focused on me.
She managed to pry me out of the darkness-just a mere bit. After the session with her that i could barely even meet her eyes, i sunk even deeper. I felt like the whole wolrd was against me.
I had two options: S or S. Slash.Suicide.
I tried to slash. i rather, i was too afraid to do so. I was chicken. SO i did the other option.
I was on the verge of breaking down again. I looked down..wondering what i hd done to deserve this. I closed my eyes... and i was gone....forever...never to remember the past....i wonder........
This is an extract..from my life? yeah. Last year. Please rate. bb.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Confusion..
I was really happy... till the time came. I was really sad... till i never lived again. I look through the thin window pane, the rain trickling down to what seemed endlessly, as though that of the tears on my cheek. I hear children laughing, cheerful chirping of the birds as the Sun slowly made its way up to the horizon. I close my eyes, and there it was...the boys of my dreams, tall, stooping figure, and he turned around and flashed a smile in my direction. My heart momentarily stopped. But just as he appeared, he vanished, out of sight. I let out a loud wail, unconsciously, and before long, i was fast asleep by the windowsill. I slept fitfully, tossing and turning, moaning several times in my sleep. I awoke with a start, only to realise that my only exit out...was closed.
It was midnight. Owls hooted and bats flew around aimlessly. In the semi-darkness i stumbled my way up the stairs, all the way from the first story to the 13th.
I stepped closer to the edge. I told myself, "Ariel, you loser, this was what you were waiting for, go ahead!!!" I slipped my eyes shut and i spread out my arms and...and...
Jumped.
The last thing i heard was a scream. A scream that signified that i would be non-existent in this world, for now, and forever. That scream...that scream signified that i had the gift of voice. The gift.. that had been wasted away. It was gone. And i was, too.
Hope you liked the story above. Please feel free to rate it accordingly from 1-10. thanks, please leave it in my chatbox.
GenuineKitty-A new era, a new life.